Thank goodness I got to the airport on time. Checked in with no issues. To fly to Ireland all you need is your passport. Upon checking in I was able to upgrade to economy plus. I figure this is a great option to give me a little more leg room. I was only able to do it from Phoenix to Chicago so here’s hoping that I will get to do it on the flight to Dublin.
I get to my gate and have about an one and half hours to spare. This isn’t the biggest part of the airport so the food offerings wear a little slim. There was a coffee shop, Wendy’s, and a bar. Guess which one I picked? The coffee shop. I was good too! I had a banana, some bad cheese that tasted like something from an expieremental project (I may regret that later) and some hard boiled eggs. I take my treasures and find an empty seat near my gate. Flying is always interesting. Sit back, people watch and listen to those who talk extremely loud. You can always tell the bs crowd too…just chatting about everything and nothing. Continue to eat my snack when a lady with a stroller decided to spike her garbage in the trash can so hard waking the guy sitting next to it. I guess she didn’t like her fake cheese either.
After finishing my snack I decide to stroll around. I forgot to bring my little note pad so I thought maybe I’d pick one up in the “News Stand”. Yeah, no dice just dried fruit snacks and Maxxim magazine. Bathroom break..hey do you tip the person cleaning the bathroom? Sometimes I do. Then back to a seat and wait on boarding.
I get to the gate to find everyone lining up. Ah, the boarding cluster has begun. I’m just looking at everybody. I love the people who shoot up out of their seats when it’s not their group’s turn. Somehow snaking around and getting in line is going to make this pony ride more enjoyable. I’m sitting and there are people standing in front of me for group three. It’s 11 am and I’m already a little tired. There is this young kid, I don’t know, maybe just graduated college. Young. He yells out “hey dude what seat ya in?” Dude says, “oh man, I’m in row 34 brah!” Dude 1 yells, “oh dude, I’m in row 35. I guess we’re not sitting together!” Yeah brah that’s what that means. Then the lady sitting next to me says, I’m in row 34… I just look at her, no words. Now compound that with the worst morning breath I have ever smelled every time Dude 1 opened his mouth. This has all the makings of quite the party.
On the plane, I always say a little prayer before we take off. Yes, I’m one of those. Maybe a few Hail Mary’s and a quick scan of my sector. I start as I enter the plane and give everybody a good look in the eye. I want them to know if there are any in flight shenanigans I will be at your seat!
Loving the extra leg room, money well spent and I’m by the exit door, just how I like it. Stewardess comes by and asks can I perform the exit row duties. Yes. Yes, I can ma’am.
I did buy something to eat on the plane. There were quite a few choices and the protein box caught my eye. Of course when the flight attendant gets there, I find that lunch item has been discontinued. I opted for the Tapas box. Not bad, it had nuts, fruit, crackers hummus and a cup of coffee.
Another flying time favorite is post meal potty breaks. Yep, you know what I mean. People have been eating and drinking for at least an hour and now 150 people need to migrate to the back of the plane to use those two flying outhouses. I affectionately call this the “lean and turn”. You lean over in your seat and casually turn to look at the back of the plane to see 1) how far of a perp walk you have and 2) is there a line. You never thought 10 rows looked so far. Especially when everybody else is watching you make your way to the back of the plane. Or perhaps you like the “stand and stretch”. Stand up and act like you are stretching, maybe even checking your overhead bin and causally look back to see…repeat one and two. And by this time there are definitely those who need to make it to the back of the plane STAT, as all those delightful smells start permeating this giant metal flying tube.